NODAYBUT2DAY     

Life was never meant to be perfect, but I suppose that's what we all aspire to be. By selfish nature we are almost always looking for something more than what we are, even if there isn't much more we can ask for-- we can never just be.

Life is a learning curve, it's full of ups and downs, tears, fears,joys and sorrows- it's how we come in to our own, I suppose.

I was searching for a sense of purpose, belonging for someone to love me, for someone to love and to feel like I had things to always look forward to despite whatever situation was thrown at me.

And you know what? I honestly think I'm there.

I started life a little late -- but certainly it wasn't for lack of trying or for laziness, but rather circumstance and terrible, terrible sense of self that held me back for what seems like years too long in retrospect, but that's over now.

I'm in a good place. I read a couple of things that I had written both for university and personal purposes about a week ago and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride in my abilities, my talents and a confidence that I haven't ever felt as though I've been able to exude without much hesitation. I want so much for myself because I deserve it. I deserve to be happy, to have a reason to smile and mostly a reason to feel proud of myself. Over the past year I feel like I've grown up considerably. This is not to say that I've changed dramatically; I'm still the same dork that listens to the RENT soundtrack on loop for hours, who spends copious hours thinking about Michael Jackson who has all these crazy ideas on abortion, sex and Catholicism... but I just mean in terms of myself and how I view myself. I like myself a lot more and I'm content. Truly...

I decided to close this site because I don't really feel like it's necessary to share personal things online anymore. I'm sure there's enough of my BS out there on the internet already for it to come and haunt me at some point, but I'd like to keep it limited just to that for now. My friends will keep up with me on the obligatory social network sites or micro-blogging sites of their choice and I will continue on without having a website to distract myself every now and then when I should be studying or working.

For those of you who don't know me or of whom I don't have on said social-network sites, maybe you'll be able to read something of mine published one day...

Until then, it's been fun/depressing/thoughtful/tiring and thanks for reading...

Jess,
www.thedailyjessticle.com

[ Theres only us, there's only this;
forget regrets or life is yours to miss.
No other road, no other way,
no day but today...]